Day 29

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67S/58W - Midday

Dear Diary, I'm... I'm not in a good mood right now. Guess what happened! Kalgore woke up me and Wren very early in the morning, and simply told us that we'd do "target practice" now. He said he needed to know if we're "useless" and when I said that I would rather get some more sleep, he got really mean.

He shouted at me that he "didn't ask". He said we have to do it because as the leader he says so. I don't know, I guess I yielded. I don't like being shouted at. And I guess I didn't like that he thinks I'm useless. Wren didn't try to discuss at all.

So what we did was follow him, grab some ammo from the hangars, go to the shooting range and... shoot wrecks in the pouring rain for two hours! While Kalgore just kept criticizing us the entire time! He was never happy, no matter how hard I tried. If I shot the wreck's turret, he said I should have shot the hull, if I shot the wreck's hull, he said I should have shot the tracks. I was always in the wrong, and when I tried to explain why I did what I did, he told me to shut up.

I mean, as bad as that was, I think Wren had it worse. Kalgore asked her to shoot targets "blind". By that he meant that she should use her, uh... other sights. I read about this before, and Wren mentioned it to me as well. A tank can see their surroundings in different ways, if they've been equipped with special sights. But apparently it's so hard to do that basically no one but SPGs bothers with it anyway...

In any case, Kalgore wanted Wren to use those. But she kept saying she couldn't see anything because of the rain? It was somehow messing with her ability to "see" everything around her properly. Kalgore, however, thought she was just making excuses and should just "try harder". Wren... tried to explain to him why it just didn't work, and Kalgore... wouldn't have any of it.

This went on for much longer than I would have managed to stay calm, in Wren's place. I really understood her frustration when she eventually started shouting at Kalgore. Only then he finally seemed to accept that it wasn't possible! He did tell her to never, ever raise her voice at him again, though.

Then he let us go. But not without saying that he wasn't happy with our "performance" and that we'd be training more often from now on.

Ugh.

67S/58W - Afternoon

Dear Diary, I felt like Wren was really unhappy after what happened during the training earlier... so I went to talk to her. She didn't even go to the library or the hangars, she just sat in her garage. I tried to ask her how she feels and if she needs anything... if she wanted to talk about or play anything? But nope. She didn't want to. She was being very curt with me. When I told her that she shouldn't feel bad about what happened today, she just asked me to stop talking about it.

I guess encouraging words wasn't what she needed today...


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