Indirk stared at the beacon and the basin of oil she could use to light it. Little more than a small, unassuming lamp in an abandoned tower of stone, it would signal to all the spies in Gray Watch that one of their own had gone to ground. They'd set it up decades ago, Indirk and a past batch of spies from Pharaul. Back then, they'd stocked this old tower with supplies and weapons to serve as a safe house where they could lie low if they were ever caught. They'd never used it.
Now it was just a dusty, dilapidated room. Indirk stood among the rotted supplies, weapon crates emptied but for a few iron shells scattered in the bottom. She grabbed at her empty gun holster and sighed. She turned her gaze from the beacon to the ceiling, and then to the animal in her hands.
Avie hung limp across her fingers, twitching unhappily from time to time, exhausted and hungry. In pain. At length, Indirk muttered, "I'm sorry," and ran her fingertips over Avie's soft fur. "I didn't take very good care of you, did I? And there's no food here. I'm a bad mom, aren't I? I'm bad." She shifted to look over her shoulder. "I hear you. I'm not armed."
"I'm not here to arrest you," said the man in the doorway. He'd managed to come all the way up the tower without being heard, but now the half-faced man paced calmly into view, hands at his sides and a passive frown on his lips. "We found this safe-house five years ago. If any of you had ever tried to use it, you'd have been caught right away."
"So I'm caught." Indirk faced him and held Avie close to her chest.
"I've scratched this site from our list. You'll be safe here for now."
Indirk narrowed her eyes. "Why?"
"My name is Mirian. I work for the Nor Sator Coalition Forces, and there's something wrong in Gray Watch. You know that. You were there, beneath the Embassy District. The dungeon that's not supposed to exist."
The memory sent a shiver through Indirk. The burning. The rattling. "You wanted to know what they were doing. They refused to tell you."
"The Hegemony of Cradsoun is concerned about the weapon that Gray Watch is using against Pharaul. They feel like it focuses too much power in the Commodore's hands."
"Fuck your politics," Indirk snapped. "The sorcerers are kidnapping people and burning them alive in that place. The Commodore funded construction and staffing using money earmarked for Embassy upkeep and lighthouse upgrades. I figured that out back in October."
Annoyance flashed over Mirian's half-face, and his one eye creased with a deep bitterness. "I didn't really expect it to go to the top, but the Commodore's a sick bastard."
Indirk shook her head, her voice falling into a contempt so deep it was almost a whisper. "Why are you here? I don't care about any of this shit anymore."
"My one embedded agent turned out to be a sorcerer. The Watch is in their pockets, too. And now the Commodore has my hands tied. I need help from someone completely disconnected. Someone with no allegiance to anyone on this side of the war."
Indirk set Avie on the top of a crate to one side. "You are not trying to fucking recruit me right now."
"I don't want to work with some Pharaul turncoat," Mirian huffed, "Especially not the daughter of the Warmaker. But I'm not willing to let those sorcerers use League citizens to fuel their magic. And you don't want Pharaul to burn."
"I do, actually." Indirk paced toward the man, trying to affect menace despite the pain that made her lurch. "I want Pharaul to burn, and I want Gray Watch to burn, and all the other places, too. I want all of it, all of it, every single part of this whole fucking system of war and violence to be just completely wiped out. I don't care about any of it."
"Fine. I won't pretend to know what you want," Mirian said, his one-eyed gaze unwavering. "But I know you were trying to get out. Make a clean exit. Mardo never could've given you that. All he could do was keep you in his pocket for a little while."
"Don't!" Indirk snapped, hackles raising. "Don't you talk about him to me."
"Listen close, Indirk. I don't care about you one way or another. I don't care how you feel. I don't need power over you. When everything's done, I'll leave you alone."
"Why don't you start by leaving me alone right now?" Indirk closed on the man, flexing her pained, tortured limbs like she was ready to throw Mirian out of the tower with her own hands. "Leave me alone. Leave!"
"I'm trying to offer you a new identity in Cradsoun."
She stopped. Breathing fiercely, racked with pain that told her to either fight or collapse, she stood there and stared.
"No one would know," Mirian said. "It wouldn't be fancy. No house. No money. Just a new name and migrant papers, like a refugee. But you could disappear. No one would ever be able to find you. Not even me."
"Shit deal." But Indirk couldn't move. Her arms shivered with the effort, but she felt trapped inside of herself. "I want you to leave. Now."
"Fine." Mirian shrugged and backed away. "Think about it. The deal will stay on the table, but not forever."
"Leave!"
He did.
Indirk stood alone. Dust and rot lay all around her. She'd come here because she didn't have anywhere to go, but she hadn't lit the beacon, either. Whatever she'd had in Gray Watch, it didn't exist anymore--she was no longer Indirk Correlon and Mardo had never been hers--but what did she have left in Pharaul? She'd betrayed Amo. Nymir had turned on them. Even Phaeduin had tried to kill her. If she lit this beacon, who would come? Would anyone come at all?
Avie lay unmoving right where Indirk had put her, black eyes watching. Taking a deep, shivering breath, Indirk told the little creature, "I didn't mean to hurt you." At some point, some blow had struck the pocket Indirk had carried Avie in, and Indirk hadn't even noticed. Now Avie lay hurt, tired, confused. But Avie stayed and kept her eyes on Indirk.
Indirk crouched in front of Avie and held out a hand. Avie leaned her little head down against Indirk's fingers, giving small affection, seeking comfort. "Why don't you turn away from me?" Indirk asked the animal. "Don't you know I'm the one who hurt you?"
