You should never tell a lie. Lying is bad. However, no one ever said you had to spill your guts, either…

Out of the three main towers of Clockworks City, the most uncomfortable place to be were the halls of the Government. Within the tower, however, even those who lived there preferred to avoid the Centurion Citadel. The Citadel was the center of the gnome legal system, all wrapped up nice and shiny in a single structure. Gnomes were brought in, questioned, booked, walked through an automated court system, overseen by judges via video conference, so they could stay at home, of course (usually in their pajamas). Those convicted were then processed, their belongings numbered and catalogued, then taken to The Cage below—a two hundred level, underground prison.

Of course, you had to be a really bad gnome to end up in The Cage. At least that’s what the government wanted citizens to believe.

“Do I look alright?” Chuck asked again. Gnarled fingers fumbled about, trying to find the pocket watch. “Are we late?”

Lili clung to his arm, her eyes darting back and forth. It took all of her courage not to panic, flinching at every vehicle that passed, every beep and blip and unnatural sound around her. But she had promised to help. No matter what happened, she was determined to keep her word. To earn a measure of trust. “You look fine,” she said, “Wonderful.” She looked down at her own outfit, however, and swallowed nervously. “I’m not sure I’ll forgive you for this…this…whatever it is. I feel naked.”

“Nonsense, you’re completely covered, child.” The wizard straightened his top hat, then tapped his dragonhead walking cane on the curb before stepping down into the runway. “Wait—you didn’t even look at me!” he complained. “How am I supposed to act the part, woo the ladies, intimidate the men, unless I look my uber best?”

“Uber?”

He adjusted his bow tie, flashing a sly smile. “Outstanding. Supreme example. Coooool.” He flicked an eyebrow at her, “Like my tie? Bow ties are cool. Manly. Debonaire.”

“It’s pink.” Lili helped him across the runway, following the handful of pedestrians. “You look fine for a person of your age and profession.”

“Pink? I thought it was just a cheerful red. Hmph!—should have worn my glass-…” Chuck stopped abruptly on the other side. “Of my age and profession?! What kind of remark is that? You call that encouragement?” He rolled his eyes, “For goodness sakes child, why don’t you just tell me the embalming fluid’s taken well!”

“I didn’t mean…”

“These clothes weren’t cheap you know!” he leaned closer and smiled, “And you look lovely, by the way…”

Lili’s cheeks flushed. “Why…thank you, Ch—”

“SEE—I got style! That’s what it’s going to take to pull this off…a keen mind and forked tongue. But do I have the clothes to match the wit? The charm, lumous, atractivo,   séduction? That’s what we need here. Charm and focus! There’s no way we will ever…Oh look!” he squealed, “A penny!” He squatted down and scooped the copper relic from the ground.

Lili sighed.

A light whistle grabbed both of their attention. Deloris had reached the other side of the runway and stood a few paces off. She nodded towards the Citadel.

“Time to go, dear,” Chuck adjusted his dress coat and rolled his shoulders back. “It’s showtime!”

Unlike many areas of the city, the Citadel was one of the few placed that had access to the open sky—and the architects took full advantage of the light. The entire tower was constructed out of reflective metal. Clockworks symbol of order, the Citadel was home to the government faction and the headquarters for all its auxiliaries. Law enforcement, judges, political leaders, economists, tax collectors, scientists, engineers, communications and the military. All the heads of government power under one roof. Anyone could enter the Citadel to visit the office of their choice…but everyone had to pass through the headquarters of the Centurions to do so.

As Chuck and Lili approached the doors, he slowed his pace, hunched his shoulders and let his long beard flop from his arm and drag behind him across the ground. Hundreds of gnomes pushed and shoved their way in and out of the bank of doors. That,  or they took their chances through the giant revolving mechanism of glass and steel. Morphiophelius watched the transparent cage spin round and round, coughing up gnomes and sucking them in. He cringed, snatching his beard to his chest.

“Not on your life.”

Lili opened one of the main doors and gnomes paused, smiling ands staring—mainly at Lili, letting the rich looking wizard and his lovely escort walk through first.

“Move out, coming through,” bellowed Deloris. Shoving through the crowd, she darted around Lili and knocked Chuck to the floor as she passed.

“Whoopah!” With a heavy thud and many gasps from onlookers, the wizard slid to a stop…right at the feet of two armed Centurion guards.

“Morning boys,” Chuck blinked, rolling to one side to release his beard from the undue strain.

Lili ran to him, heels clopping across the granite floors, a dainty hand over her mouth. “Grandfather!” she cried, “Are you alright?” Dressed in a white cotton skirt that ended just above her knees, her tan legs and forearms stood out like beacons as she knelt down.

Both Centurions quickly squatted to help her.

“You alright sir?”

“Here, I’ve got him.”

“Let go, I had him first.”

Lili looked up and batted her eyes at them both, “Oh thank you so much.” She forced herself to smile. She reminded herself to accidentally burn the wizards food the next chance she got.

Both gnomes snapped to attention. One of them let slip a goofy laugh, followed by an awkward snort.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Chuck blurted out, “Brave, honest, strong young gnomes. That’s the backbone of this city!” Whipping his cane about, he jabbed both soldiers in the chest. “You…do…your…profession…proud! Who do I talk to so I can make a recommendation?” The wizard saluted with his cane, “That’s why I contribute to the Centurions-Are-Not-As-Stupid-As-You-Think-They-Are fund every year! Brilliant you boys are—TOP of the class, I say. Keep it up!”

They saluted. Another snort.

Lili had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing. “You are a horrible old man,” she whispered as they walked away.

“Gnome,” he reminded her, “we are just filthy rich gnomes, expected to be arrogant…and a bit off.”

She let out a giggle, “Then you fit the role perfectly.”

“Watch it.”

Hobbling up to the front desk, they stood in line as a dozen Centurions tried to wrestle Deloris to the ground. Lili gripped the wizards arm tightly. It was all intentional, but she couldn’t help feeling the urge to jump into the fray to defend the gnome. Then agin, Deloris was proving to be a bit more than the soldiers were expecting. Cuffs were knocked out of hands, feet stomped, even a nose broken. All the while she screamed, “I told you—I’m here by choice! You morons! Idiots! I want to talk to an investigator, not some fat jellyroll desk jockey!!”

Chuck grinned. “I don’t think she’ll be contributing to the fund this year.”

“Next!” shouted a fat officer, grumbling behind the desk.

“Right here,” the wizard snorted, shoving his cane between those ahead of him. With a twist of his arm, he shoved them away like a pry bar. “I’m next.” He grinned at the scowling and irritated faces glaring at him. “Not these…insignificant’s.”

Unamused, the officer yawed. “What can we do for ya, pops?”

Lili jumped back, as did the gnomes behind her, as Chucks cane cracked loudly across the counter, nearly missing the centurions fingers.

Leaning closer, the wizard glared menacingly from under his brows, “You can bring those stupid children to me, so I can give them a BEATING, that’s what!” he smacked the counter again—the crack echoing throughout the reception area and grabbing the attention of hundreds. “Run out on me? I DON’T THINK SO! They left me stranded, at my home, with only sixty servants! INSOLENCE! SELFISHNESS!” Pointing over his shoulder, “My poor granddaughter had to leave runway model school, just to make sure I could get to my bowling league practices on time….,” he growled, “Do you have ANY idea how humiliating it is to be escorted by this devastatingly gorgeous girl? No one ever pays any attention to me when she’s around!”

The officer blinked a second time, eyes still locked on Lili. “W-what were you saying pops?”

The cane cracked across the counter. “FOCUS!”

Lili waved her fingers at the Centurion. He blushed a deep red.

Chuck sighed, “Where are they?”

“Wha—,” the gnome cleared his throat, “Where are who, sir?”

“My grandson and bodyguard? WHO DO YOU THINK I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT!?”

Lili slid up next to the wizard, taking his arm. “Grandfather, this wonderful officer is more than willing to help—please be patient.”

He nodded, patting her hand, “So right, my dear. Silly of me—must have at least ten new faces come through here every day!”

The officer looked around him and smirked, “I wish.”

“I was told the boys were here,” Chuck scratched his cheek with the dragon’s beak on his cane, “Under arrest for treason or some non-consequential rubbish like that”

Typing into the computer, “Names?”

Chuck blinked a few times. He reached over the counter with an open hand, “Goodness me, where are my manners? So sorry my boy—my names Nat, and this is…”

“No, Grandfather,” Lili corrected him, embarrassed. “Nat’s who we’re here to get. You’re Morphiophelius Smith the Fifth.” She looked back to the Centurion and whispered, “He’s a bit forgetful…and a bit hard of hearing.”

“My friends call me Chuck,” the wizard blurted, then considered, “which you’re not.”

The officer ignored him and rolled his eyes, “What were the names of the grandson and bodyguard?”

“Nathan Taylor and Shamas…”

The officer looked up from the monitor, “The cripple and bruiser charged with helping the outlanders?” His eyes narrowed.

Lili tried batted her eyes again, but it didn’t seem to have the same effect. “Is there a problem?”

“DID YOU BEAT THEM PROPERLY!” Chuck screamed, whacking his cane on the counter repeatedly until everyone moved away from him. He snarled loudly, followed by wringing motions, choking the cane between his hands, “They need to be flogged to an inch of their lives…make sure they don’t do something this stupid EVER again!” His gaze drifted up to meet the wary officers, “Turn on this great city?! IT’S PEOPLE? Why I’d rather cut off both my arms and legs than turn traitor,” he snorted, “that’s what I say.” But his expression instantly flipped to a boisterous laugh, “Luckily those boys are too stupid to know what they’re doing.” Leaning close to the counter, he cut his laughter short, “Did you know Shamas still sleeps with a teddy bear and wets the bed at night? Don’t let the leather tough-guy look fool you. Nat still can’t set the clock on my VCR! So does it SOUND like they have the brains to start a coup with a human and troll? I don’t THINK so!”

Lili dug her nails into Chucks arm. He flinched.

“Yes, well,” the officer smirked, “it looks like they can leave, but both have an extraordinarily high bail set on condition of their release.”

Chuck looked at Lili confused. “What did he say?”

The officer leaned over the counter, “I said there’s bail.”

Chuck stared at him and frowned.

“He said you have to pay the bail!” Lili said louder.

Chuck snorted at both of them, “Mahan’s Pink Panties, why would I bail? I just got here!”

****

“Sit down and shut up,” the Centurion barked, shoving Deloris through the door. He limped back out and slammed the door behind him.

She sighed. Other than the handcuffs being on a bit tight, so far so good. There had been enough of a struggle that she was sure to get the attention of someone further up in the food chain of command. The struggle had also prevented anyone from completing a body search. They just wanted her out of the way—allowing her to smuggle Höbin’s books into the building.

The interrogation room was small. Very small. The walls were dirty—painted a dingy grey, and one of the overhead florescent lights flickered on and off. It made her eye twitch. In the center of the room squatted a small table with two chairs. Bad news was, there were no mirrors. There were no cameras. She was completely isolated.

“Crap.”

She paced back and forth until the door finally creaked open and a frumpy looking old gnome waddled in. “Mrs. Teedlebaum,” he said in a dial tone, “my name is Detective Bundlefrump.” He was reading a file in hand, her purse in the other. He tossed the purse onto the table without looking at her. “You’re in a bit of trouble, from what I’m reading here. I’ve been told to remind you that you have a right to an attorney before we begin.”

“I don’t need a law-licker.” Nose flaring, she bared her teeth in a dog-like snarl, “And that’s Ms. HINDER, if you don’t mind. Don’t go grouping me in with that traitor!”

Detective Bundlefrump looked up from the file. His face was void of expression.

She narrowed her gaze to slits, “I’m his ex-wife.”

“I see.” He seated himself at the table. Placing the file open in front of him, he motioned to the chair opposite of him, “Please,” then laced his fingers.

There was no fluctuation on his tone, no sudden changes in his eyes or body language. Deloris, who was exceptional at reading people, couldn’t read the Detective. Suddenly she wasn’t sure coming here was such a wise choice.

“Ms. Hinder, where is Morty Teedlebaum?”

Letting her body lean back and somewhat relax, she rested her wrists on the table. “How the tick-tock should I know?”

“Because you have been seen with him time and again over the past two months.”

“And since you have this human—vallen issue on your hands, you want to point the finger at everyone else that could possibly be involved, instead of admitting that this city’s security sucks and you let our enemies in.” She grinned, “Which looks awfully bad for you guys.”

Without blinking, Bundlefrump looked through the papers in the file. Shifting papers, one at a time, from one side of the folder to the other, reading in complete and total silence. It was a tactic to break her, Deloris knew. To create a gap where her own mind would start assuming and making things up to fill that gap…so there wouldn’t be any silence. It was used to manipulate those in custody.

Luckily, she wasn’t bothered by it at all.

Bundlefrump held up a single sheet and read allowed, “You’ve had an interesting life. Graduated the top of your class from University, honorable entrance into the Science Academy. Excelled at everything you’ve ever touched. Well,” he paused, “except your marriage, that is. Married twenty years, no children.” He smiled for the first time, then. The corners of his mouth pulled the thin lips outward, curling the ends up, which looked more painful than happy. “The job was the baby, it seems. I can relate to that.” The odd smile vanished, “What I can’t understand, is why you left the Academy. The records say you were making incredible headway, excuse the pun there. What was it called? Comu…cont…”

“Computational submersion,” she finished for him.

“Right. A whole new way to deal with birth defects, illnesses…”

“Or reprogram people who didn’t see eye to eye with the government.”

“Ah,” the odd smile wormed it’s way back across Bundlefrump’s face, “there it is. The defiance of the laws of the land.”

Now it was deloris that smiled. “Don’t confuse my disgust with those who abuse the power and authority they’ve been given with rebellion. I was searching for ways to improve our medical practices, but all my superiors wanted to do was find ways to convert my inventions into military or correctional weapons.”

“So you walked.”

“It’s not what I signed up for.”

“Couldn’t your research be used for both?”

Leaning forward, “You’re missing a bit of information on that piece of paper you’re reading from. You see, my efforts were completely thwarted through the funding process. When the government faction saw that a mind could be completely reprogrammed into virtually anything they wanted, my medical research grants dried up. The military stepped in and doubled the size of my previous grant, so long as I signed a contract to give up all future rights to my developments.”

Bundlefrump shrugged, dropping the paper onto the table, “You would have been a wealthy gnome for the rest of your life.”

“Money doesn’t motivate me.”

“So you walk away and manage your fathers computer repair store and shipping warehouse business?”

“Until something better came along.”

Again, the shifting through the papers, “Until Mortimur Teedlebaum came along.”

“Ah,” she sighed, “we’re back to him.”

“That is why you’re here,” he said.

“No,” she growled, “I’m here because I chose to be. I walked through those doors on my own two feet because the last thing I wanted was to be branded a traitor like that garbage excuse of an ex-husband!” She reached across the table and slapped her hands down over the folder, “So cut the crap Bundlefrump, and let get to the actual truth of the matter. I don’t know where Morty is and I don’t give a flip either. If I do find him, you can have him AFTER I get a few minutes alone with him and a bat.”

Bundlefrump sat back in his chair, studying her. One eyebrow rose higher than the other. “Why should I believe you?”

Deloris let her hands slip off the table and out of view. Her head dropped forward, eyes locked onto the detective, “Because I have something you’re gonna want.” She shifted in her seat for a moment, then lifted two small red leather journals into view. “Morty’s personal notes on his latest and greatest invention.”

Thin fingers reached eagerly across the table, but Deloris slid them back out of range.

“Not so fast,” she chuckled, “I wasted years of my life working with that egotistical twerp. I know his methods, I know his habits,” she leaned her chest against the table and grinned form ear to ear, “…and I know his shorthand code. You can’t read these things without my help.” She winked, “I know you’re not the one in charge. So we’re done negotiating until I can talk to the person who is.”

The thin fingers curled into fists. “We can easily take those journals from you, Ms. Hinder.”

She laughed out loud now, throwing her head back in amusement. “Of course you can! But there’s the proof that you’re not the one in charge here. You didn’t listen to what I said.” She waved the journals next to her cheek, “These are useless without me! Morty made sure the government wouldn’t be able to live without him and I not only want amnesty for any interactions with him…I want an opportunity to crush his dreams for crushing mine!”

****

Chuck sat hunched over on the chair, his chin wresting comfortably on the back of his hands. His beard and mustache hung down the front of the cane, like a white waterfall, swirling around his feet and under his chair. Lili, however, couldn’t sit still.

“Why is it taking so long?” she complained, pacing the floor. The clop-clop-clop of her shoes filling the silence.

“That’s what happens when you’re more concerned with paperwork than you are with people. Someone gets to wait. Unfortunately it’s us. Calm yourself, you’re doing wonderful.”

She sighed, “I don’t like how I’m being looked at. All the male gnomes…staring. It reminds me of,” but she stopped. “Nevermind.”

“What?”

Sliding into a chair, she crossed her legs and stretched the skirt down over her knees. “I was going to say Wendell, but…”

“But?” the wizard looked over at her without moving his head.

“He…doesn’t look at me that way. Not really. I…know he likes me, or, feels something about me, but it doesn’t feel disturbing like these gnomes make me feel. Since we got here I feel, dirty.” Wrapping her arms around herself, “He’s never made me  feel like that.”

Chuck grinned, through it was hidden behind the beard, “He’s a good boy.” Then sitting up, “As soon as we get out of here, we’ll get you home and you can put on as many coats and trousers as you like, eh? Until then…”

The door opened.

An armed Centurion entered first, followed by Nat in a manual wheelchair. His tiny, shriveled legs hung lifeless from the seat as another Centurion pushed him along. The computer genius was bruised all over his face, with small cuts across his cheek and lips. One eye was black as night, the lids swollen shut. Both hands were cuffed the arms of the chair.

“Goodness!” Lili cried out, standing up abruptly.

Shamas shuffled in last. Escorted by two guards, it was more as a means of support than security. There were several gauze bandages on his face, his forehead wrapped in full. there were also splints on three of his fingers and both eyes were nearly swollen shut.

Chuck stood up and hobbled over to the bodyguard. With a tender hand, he turned the damaged face from side to side. “When I snapped that you boys should be flogged, I wasn’t serious!” Jabbing the closest Centurion in the gut with his cane, “Did you have to be so rough with them? Take these chains off. Now.”

“They’ll be released upon the posting of bail.”

The wizard glared back into the mirrored helmet, “I’ll pay!”

All the soldiers laughed, then.

“The bail is two million credits.”

Chuck gulped, “How much?”

“Two million credits. Each.”

The wizard flinched, “Each!??”

“That’s what I said, old gnome,” the Centurion laughed. “We can charge directly for offenses now. Saves time and money in the court system. Don’t even need to come in most of the time, just pay your fee online or over the phone and be on your way.”

The wizard started fumbling around in his coat pockets. “That’s absurd. What about justice? What about serving your time and community service? What about getting the chance to see gnomes in little black dresses and hitting tiny desks with little toy gavels? If someone commits a crime…they can’y just pay a fee.” He pulled out a small cylinder  roughly four times the thickness of a pen and handed it to the guard.

The Centurions looked at one another. No one had that many credits on them. Not unless they were famous, like a Trench Pilot, or a Banker. Lifting a rectangular device from his hip, Chuck’s cylinder slid easily into the end slot. The green screen flashed, displaying a name, picture and the balance of the account attached to the cylinder. The guard coughed. “I’ve never seen this much money before!” The mirrored helmet bounced up to find the wizard smiling cooly. “I’ve never dreamed of this much money before…”

Chuck tapped the screen with a finger, “So I can pay for all charges, right here, right now?”

“That is correct.”

“Then don’t forget to pay for the multiple battery charges against the Centurion officers.”

The guard slid the report up and down the screen with a gloved hand, looking. He shook his head, “There’s no such charge on the report, Mr. Smith.”

Chuck lifted his cane…and started swinging.